Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize