im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
