Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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