Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
