I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
