I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
