He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
