Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
