you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
