this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
