Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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