So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
You smell like stripper and shame
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
