Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
If I die, sorry about rent.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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