I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
