I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
