Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
