I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
