i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
only if we run a train.
done.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
as a side note pls kill me
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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