there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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