You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
