yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
