Duck Duck Cougar?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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