at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
