if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
