See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
