Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'm passing your future prison.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
