I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
