ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
