At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
The Olympian is in my bed
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
