I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
