You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
