It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
