i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
