but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
