Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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