Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
