I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
