i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
