the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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