I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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