Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize