I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
