it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
