the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
