I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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