we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
