You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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