I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
