That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
