yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
