My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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