Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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