other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Mom said you looked used
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
