first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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