Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
