I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
