Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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