Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
