If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm like, not good at living.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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