But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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