Why are handjobs necessary in class?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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