Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
